How to Improve Communication Skills and Your Personal Style
By: Peter Murphy
Here are six tips for improving your communication style:
1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come easier once
you become aware of your own communication style.
Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to your own
speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort of body language
and what tone of voice are you using?
Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good communicator.
Compare your style to theirs. You've just taken an important first
step in how to improve communication skills.
2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the style of those
around you. How do the most important people in your life converse?
How do they say things? Look for approaches you can model and make your own.
3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don't think it is too
late to change your way of conversing because it's been years. You
had to learn to communicate in the first place and you can unlearn
certain behaviors or change them. Sometimes we get stuck in a
A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged daughter. She
was growing and he thought she didn't tell him what was going on in
her life. They were in a heated discussion when he asked, "Why didn't
you tell me?"
Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing her to
hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his daughter would
involve listening first before jumping right into solving the problem.
4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match the other
person's movements, posture and verbal style. Don't do everything
they do, but mirror one or two things. For example, if the person
gives mostly short answers to questions, you follow suit.
Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually do-slow your
speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound simplistic but it is a
very potent way to make someone feel very relaxed and comfortable in
5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as in a
different environment. Make sure you change your style to suit the
different setting. Some comments you might want to tell your best
friend, in private.
Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to improve
communication skills by altering your style for the appropriate
setting. Many of us know someone who offers far too much information
in a group setting.
6. Don't criticize others for communicating differently. If we all
communicated in the same way, we'd soon be bored with each other.
Getting a good grasp of your communication style and finding ways to
accommodate other peoples' styles, is a good way to improve your
©2007 Peter Murphy. All rights reserved.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a
very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication
Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high
achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm