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July 13, 2009
As budgets get tighter, employers are looking for ways to differentiate between the hard workers and the dead weight. If you want to speed your way to the unemployment line, try a few of these tricks.
Try this: Don’t bother to learn your job. Somebody else will do it.
Learning how to do your job is essential when starting a new job. Finding out what is expected of you in the position is just as critical. If you want to hold the shortest work record in history, try not taking your job duties seriously. You can hit the unemployment line in less than a week.
Try this: Try the line, “I'm not doing that! It’s not in my job description.”
Of course there will be times that you will need to say no. However, consistently saying “no” will show that you’re not a team player. It also shows that you may not be as interested in employment as you should be. Why keep you if there is someone else willing to work outside of their job description to help get the job done?
Try this: Use the office supply closet as your own personal office supply store. Better yet, if you don’t like the offerings, use company time to run personal errands.
Theft of time and resources are great ways to get terminated. Employers are not there to supplement your home office or your kid’s school supplies.
Try this: Make your own work hours.
If you are looking for ways to show total disregard for management, make your own hours regardless of your assigned schedule. Come and go as you please and one day you "will" get to go.
Try this: Treat a deadline as if it were a suggestion.
When you’re not doing your job, everyone in the work chain suffers. If you’re the constant cog that slows down the process, getting rid of you will definitely increase productivity.
One important point to remember, if you’re successful in getting fired, you cannot get unemployment benefits.
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