Economic hardships are a sign of the times.
Some companies are downsizing to turn a bigger profit. Others are merging and cutting salaries or staffs. And it is not uncommon for struggling businesses to simply close their doors.
Job loss can be terrifying for adults, especially if they're supporting children.
When a parent is served with a pink slip, what's the best way to break the news to the kids?
Family therapists say honesty is the best policy, but discussions about sudden lifestyle changes should be age-appropriate.
"For children ages 5 to 10, only answer the questions as they ask them," said Scott Costello, a licensed clinical social worker who owns Personal Solutions Counseling in Frankfort.
For example, "How come Daddy isn't working?" can be answered with, "Daddy's staying home today."
"Is Daddy going to work tomorrow?" can be answered with, "No, his company doesn't need him at work tomorrow."
Keep in mind that young children are quick to sense a change in the daily routine.
"A parent may be home more because of unemployment, but he may be preoccupied with a job search. So children need to know that it is not necessarily play time," said Anne Morrill-Ploum, a psychotherapist at the Genesis Therapy Center in Oak Forest.
Parents who feel angry, argumentative or depressed because of job loss should explain their feelings to their children.
"And be really clear that it's not the child's fault," Morrill-Ploum said.
Finding ways to stretch the household budget can unite the family toward a common goal during the job search.
"Everyone can try to save a few dollars by spending less money on food, using less water or lowering the heat," Morrill-Ploum said.
"If kids can contribute to the family in some way, they'll feel like they're part of the family and part of the solution."
When a reduction in finances leaves no money for vacations, day care programs, trips to the movies or new toys, parents can substitute with local programs offered free to the public.
"The toys the kids will miss can be replaced with playing games," Costello said.
"The No. 1 way kids bond with parents is by spending play time with them. For ages 4 to 8, pretend play is much more valuable to them than playing video games."
It is also important to question children about their fears.
"If the kids ask, 'Are we poor?' have a discussion on what poor means," Morrill-Ploum said.
"If the family still has food, shelter and clothes, this might be a nice time to revisit family values."
Whether unemployment lasts one month or one year, parents should avoid upsetting children unnecessarily.
"Adults get nervous about losing big things, like a house or a car. But if you tell this to a kid, he may think it will happen over night," Morrill-Ploum said.
"Teens know more, and have more questions so it's best to be straight-forward with them," Costello said.
"But if you tell them you might have to sell a car, they may become preoccupied with that. So take things as they come," he said.
If draining family finances lead to foreclosure or relocation, tell the children one month in advance so they have time to prepare for the move to a new home, Costello said.
Some children will experience anxiety even if their parents are attentive to their needs. So it's important to be aware of symptoms that beg for professional help.
Signs of stress in a small child may include temper tantrums, a change in eating or sleeping patterns, more tears than usual or regression to bed-wetting or thumb-sucking.
"Younger kids are more likely to get irritable and act up if they're not sure what's going on," Morrill-Ploum said.
In teens and older children, warning signs can include overeating, not eating, irritability, withdrawal, dropping grades, trouble sleeping, restlessness, moodiness, defiance, excessive blaming, excessive pessimism and a sense of helplessness.
"These symptoms indicate something more serious is going on, and that the child is under too much stress," Costello said.
"The stress hormone your body releases can be caustic to your nervous system. Worries create anxiety, and anxiety creates a pounding heart and tensions in the muscles. If anxiety lasts a while, it almost always causes depression. And if there's depression, the teen needs to rebound," Costello said.
"Depression is a medical condition, a real tangible illness. If changes in mood and behavior last more than two weeks, it's important to have an assessment done. Even one session with a therapist can help a child a lot."
But where does a parent find funds for therapy or a clinical evaluation when the family budget is already stretched to the limit?
"Most insurance policies have some mental health coverage, and most employers have Employment Assistance Programs that offer several free sessions," Costello said.
"Most people don't realize that the No. 1 least utilized insurance benefits are for EAP programs."
Help also can be found at therapy centers that offer reduced fees for low-income families.
If a child is symptomatic, Morrill-Ploum recommends therapy for the whole family.
"We offer counseling for families in transition," she said.
"We take care of their individual needs, and help them look at building their assets. We help them mobilize finances they didn't know they had. We also show them how to pool together their resources to make them last."
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